The Joys Of Having A Brother
by Fullmetal Catastrophe
Summary: It's hard having a brother, it's even harder when that brother is Alfred. Contains sucky humor, brotherly relationships and a badly sung version of let it go. NO SLASH


"LETTT ITT GOOO, LLEEETTT ITT GOOOO!"

Four o'clock in the morning was an outrageous time to be doing anything, especially if what you happen to be doing is screaming at the top of your voice to the lyrics of let it go. Unfortunately though, doing ridiculous things at equally ridiculous times in the morning was becoming an irritating habit for Alfred, and it never ceased to amaze Matthew that each one was somehow even more teeth-clenchingly annoying then the last. Matthew's angry footsteps (which were about the same volume as any normal persons footsteps) thumped gently down the stairs. Poor Matthew had been enjoying a few nice, well deserved hours of rest before he got up for a job interview the next day only to be rudely awakened by Disney's Frozen being played at a ridiculous volume while his brother sang(also at a ridiculous volume) along to Indina Menzal. It was a shame really, no one Mattie knew (including himself) had the heart to tell Alfred F Jones that his singing voice was on par with a woman giving birth, and Alfred's day was not over until he had spontaneously burst into song at least once, be it at a graduation, or at a wedding, or in the of their old headmasters assembly about safe sex.

"ALFRED!"

Nope, Alfred didn't even turn away from the TV, and carried on wailing so loud Matthew was surprised his vocal cords didn't shatter.

"ALFRED!"

Matthew was more than aware of how weak his presence was and he was also aware of how quiet his voice was Alfred reminded him every day. Mattie wasn't one to shout, or even raise his voice on most occasions, he was naturally tolerant, but NO ONE got in the way of Mattie's sleep, not even Alfred. It was the one time of the day where he didn't need to worry about Al humiliating, undermining or nearly decapitating him.

"ALFRED FREDERIC JONES YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!"

That got Alfred to turn around, saying (or shouting in this case) out loud Alfred's middle name always got his attention.

"Dude, Mattie, chill-ax. You shouldn't shout- you'll wake up the neighbors."

Matthew's face scrunched up; to the point it looked like someone had punched him. Alfred burst into an uncontrollable giggle fit. Mattie breathed in deeply, he noticed how much his throat hurt now from six seconds of shouting, how Alfred managed it 24/7 he would never know.

"It's too late to say that now Alfred, I'm certain you've woken up at least half of America with your singing, just what do you think you're doing?"

"It's called YOLO bro; you could learn a thing or two about it."

Mattie face palmed at that.

"Alfred, we learnt everything that was necessary for our adult lives in school, or at least I did, meanwhile you were too busy quoting Peter Griffin and ticking off the head teacher. In fact, your rules of 'YOLO' are exactly the reasons why mum kicked us out, the neighbors hate us and why I got fired from my last job."

"Okay, number 1: you got fired because your boss didn't have a sense of humor-"

"Humor?! You turned up to my meeting drunk, and started pelting my boss with water balloons! How does that have anything to do with humor?"

"Unimportant. Anyway mums always been shifty, ever since her third marriage-"

"Ever since you broke out in song, singing 'another one bites the dust' as they said their vows?"

"Hey! It was a joke, and back to the point, who cares about the shitty neighbors, who wants to be friends with them anyway?"

Mattie went to interrupt again but stopped himself, Alfred had a point on that one. Their neighbors weren't the most pleasant of people anyway. On their left, a British businessman who seemed to hold a grudge against Alfred especially, then again he did have a good reason. On their right, a perverted Frenchman, who flirted with Matthew at every given opportunity despite knowing full well Mattie was taken, in fact Matthew was sure the Frenchman had a girlfriend himself.

"Alright fine, you get that last one, but still Alfred can you at least try to be a bit less of a dick?"

Alfred stopped grinning like an idiot for a moment and pulled a small but genuine smile, he gently grabbed his shorter brother by the shoulders...

"Nope!"

Mattie's hopeful face fell to a frown as he watched his brother climb back on top of the coffee table and press unpause on the TV remote. He shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"...so, I'll just go back upstairs now..."

Alfred didn't even glance over his shoulder,

"AND HEEREEE I STTAANDD- YEAH COOL BRO, WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU!"

Mattie sighed drearily, and slowly plodded back up the stairs, dragging his floppy white teddy bear behind him,

"Kuma, remind me to just buy some earplugs next time, I'm done trying to reason with him..."

* * *

><p><em>Awww, poor Mattie :( Since my last fanfic was kinda depressing I decided to do something a little more light hearted. I wish I could say the idea came to me in a dream but that would be lying, the idea came to me when I was bored in the middle of a religious studies exam X3 Hope it was okay, my sense of humor sucks. Don't forget to R&amp;R!<em>


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